In Love With A Car Called Monica

Think the Middle East is nothing but a seething cauldron of anti-Semitism and anti-Americanism? Well, consider this: exhaustive research shows that the woman who best represents the ideal of feminine beauty according to Iraqi men is none other than one-time White House intern and Jewish American Princess par excellence, Monica Lewinsky.

Admittedly, some of my interview subjects were surprised to learn that Miss Lewinsky is a member of the Tribe. And other, more modern Middle Eastern countries are starting to adopt Western beauty standards along with eating disorders and nose jobs. But Monica still manages to evoke the full-figured raven-haired village girl who since time immemorial has frustrated male imagination in the Land of Two Rivers.

The adoration of the Monica is such that here in Iraqi Kurditsan, the girl who flashed her thong in the Oval Office has a car named after her. And not just any car: the Toyota Land Cruiser, four-by-four of choice for the region's military, political and business elite.

The Land Cruiser became known as the Monica in Kurdistan apparently because Kurds like their cars like they like their women: big and beautiful. I've heard less polite explanations for why the nickname stuck, something to do with treating their cars like they treat their women. Anyway, you're no one in Erbil if you're not at the wheel of a white Monica.

But Monicas are starting to pick up an unsavory reputation. Average Kurds are becoming resentful of their leaders who since the liberation of Iraq have become inexplicably flush with cash. Fleets of government-owned gas-guzzling sport utility vehicles remind drivers of more modest cars that politicians don't have to wait in long lines at gas stations to get fuel at the subsidized price.

Driving a Monica is also a power statement: either you are the law, or you are above the law. A Monica with tinted windows and no license plate is signature secret police style. "If I see a Monica in my review mirror, I pull to the side of the road," says one friend. Today, I watched the driver of an armor plated Monica cause a serious traffic accident then pull out a pistol and threaten the injured driver of the other car.

So far this class-animus hasn't blown back against the United States, which both supports the Kurdish leadership and is home to Miss Lewsinsky. But it would be a shame if America starts losing hearts and minds in Kurdistan – one of the last parts of the worlds where we are really popular – all because of a car. But if worst comes to worst, perhaps we can just blame the Japanese.

--Andrew Lee Butters/Erbil