Loving Life in Lebanon

Political advertising in Lebanon has reached fever pitch. I've blogged before about dueling billboard campaigns. A supposedly neutral group started the silliness when it plastered the country in "I Love Life" logos to promote peace and national unity. But the Hizballah-led opposition correctly interpreted this as a critique of it's culture of martyrdom of and armed resistance to Israel. So the opposition responded with it's own knock-offs of the "I Love Life" campaign.

Just when you thought that these cliches had been rendered meaningless to the point of absurd, the original "I Love Life" people have been adding more slogans to their billboards. They include "I'm going to work. I Love Life" and "I'm going to a party. I Love Life" and "I've got a class. I Love Life." The idea is to encourage people to carry on with ordinary life in the face of intimidation from opposition blockades and strikes.

Which seems fair enough, except that the "I Love Life" people continue to be dishonest and claim that they are a politically neutral group, when in fact, they are part of the political problem. If you have any doubt that the "I Love Life" campaign is in bed with the government and its Sunni, Saudi, and American backers, just ask yourself, who in Lebanon has the money to support a massive ad campaign that's gone on for almost three months? The billboards practically smell like oil wells.

So in the spirt of too much honesty, here's a top-ten list of slogans you will never see in a Lebanese political ad campaign:

"My daughter wants me to pay for her nose job. I Love Life."

"Some of my best friends are _________ (Fill in in the blank: Shia/Sunni/Christian/Jewish). I Love Life."

"I've slept with ten of my college classmates and four Russian prostitutes, but I'll only marry a virgin. I Love Life."

"All my friends are out of work or have moved to Dubai. I Love Life."

"I'm staying here. But I'm applying for Australian citizenship just in case. I Love Life."

"I'm staying here. And so is my Sri Lankan housemaid, because I'm holding on to her passport. I Love Life."

"I'm embarrassed to be an Arab, so I say I'm Phoenician, even though that civilization ended over 2,000 years ago. I Love Life."

"My husband has three other wives. Younger wives. I Love Life."

"My family has lived in Lebanon for almost 60 years but we still don't have citizenship because we're Palestinian. I Love Life."

"Foreigners keep screwing up our country, but we keep taking their money. I Love Life."

--Andrew Lee Butters/Beirut